I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
