Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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