Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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