I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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