if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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