I got chris browned last night
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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