I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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