Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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