you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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