so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Drunk is not a location!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
