so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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