Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
