I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
