talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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