I want to stick my p in your. b.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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