I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
