So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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