Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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