Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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