Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
