Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
40s are totally the cure
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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