Your dad touched me again.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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