Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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