That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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