I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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