So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
