i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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