i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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