I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
there is glitter all over my balls
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