I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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