Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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