Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
