The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
