foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
false alarm, still single
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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