I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
