they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
