Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
