ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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