Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
