she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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