i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
