i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
