We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
