and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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