I am in a vortex of obligation.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
