The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
