cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
