The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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