then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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