Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
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Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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