the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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