And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
