The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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