im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dignity is for republicans.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
