Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
3 2 1 whiskey
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
