do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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