Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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