when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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