I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
