Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
