and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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