she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
