dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We just shotgunned beers for America
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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