Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I want her autograph on my taint
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
