I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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