I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
