pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
