I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
