That's when you crack a 10am beer
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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